Our culture assumes that freedom is generally good, and that people should be free to pursue their own desires, unless that pursuit conflicts with the freedom of others.
Wouldnt these problems solve themselves? There certainly are women who are assertive and make the first move for example. People are still making children and these couples are obviously the ones whos offspring will also be fertile in the future, despite living in modern environments. We probably just have to wait. The same as with birth control. The people who resist it will outbreed those who cant. We will adapt, slowly.
Sure, all problems "solve themselves" in some sense. But that's like saying "cancer solves itself" because it kills you. When you say "we will adapt", who is "we"? Biological adaptation occurs by replacement of genes or populations. You might not be included in that "we" if you don't make a conscious effort to adapt.
One way to adapt is to understand a problem and devise a solution. We evolved a large brain, because it gives us a greater capacity to understand and solve problems.
Nature's "solution" would probably be simply the collapse of modern civilization, and a return to premodern conditions. Or we could try to fix the problems with modern civilization, making it stable and sustainable. I prefer the latter.
Male sexual desire is stronger, because the minimal male cost to have offspring is smaller (one ejaculation). In almost all sexual species (including plants), the male "pursues" the female in some way. This dimorphism arises from the difference between the gametes: the egg is large and sessile, the sperm is small and motile.
It's explained in the essay. Women don't have a strong desire to be in relationships. If they did, you would see women making much greater efforts to create relationships. They don't, and they don't take an active role in trying to find a mate. In the past, women needed men to survive, so a woman wanted a relationship because she didn't want to die. It was also culturally low-status to be unmarried. Take away those pressures, and women will passively wait for "Mr. Right", while never making a serious effort to find a man, and rejecting most men. That is what we see.
So are they waiting for Mr Right or they don't have strong desire to be in relationships? Passiveness doesn't have to mean lack of desire. Women go to bars waiting for some guy to start chatting with them. They use dating apps etc.
Both. If you're waiting for "Mr. Right", then you clearly don't want to be in a relationship that badly -- or you would settle for "Mr. Okay", and you wouldn't just wait -- you'd go looking. The point of "Mr. Right" is that he doesn't exist -- he is an unrealistic ideal. Yes, passiveness does mean a lack of desire. Yeah, women go to bars, wait for guys to approach them, and then reject those guys, and laugh about it later with their friends. Guys take the risk of rejection, and guys are willing to take that risk because their sexual desire is stronger. After having sex, the roles reverse. Men are less interested in commitment.
There has been a decline in relationship formation, because our emotions do not fit the environment that we have created. Over half of people 18 to 34 in the US are not in a relationship.
Rise of singleness is quite recent phenomena. And women get desperate when they get older to find partner. I think that them having more inflated position I sexual/matrymonial market is reason rather than lack of arranged marriages. Women don't need men for survival for quite some time and you see this trend rise from 2010s
How can an American be so based?
Great stuff. Thank you for posting this
Wouldnt these problems solve themselves? There certainly are women who are assertive and make the first move for example. People are still making children and these couples are obviously the ones whos offspring will also be fertile in the future, despite living in modern environments. We probably just have to wait. The same as with birth control. The people who resist it will outbreed those who cant. We will adapt, slowly.
Sure, all problems "solve themselves" in some sense. But that's like saying "cancer solves itself" because it kills you. When you say "we will adapt", who is "we"? Biological adaptation occurs by replacement of genes or populations. You might not be included in that "we" if you don't make a conscious effort to adapt.
One way to adapt is to understand a problem and devise a solution. We evolved a large brain, because it gives us a greater capacity to understand and solve problems.
Nature's "solution" would probably be simply the collapse of modern civilization, and a return to premodern conditions. Or we could try to fix the problems with modern civilization, making it stable and sustainable. I prefer the latter.
Why you assume that women haven't evolved desire to be with men?
Male sexual desire is stronger, because the minimal male cost to have offspring is smaller (one ejaculation). In almost all sexual species (including plants), the male "pursues" the female in some way. This dimorphism arises from the difference between the gametes: the egg is large and sessile, the sperm is small and motile.
I get that. But you assume that women don't have strong desire to find man which doesn't seem to be true. Most women want to be in relationships
It's explained in the essay. Women don't have a strong desire to be in relationships. If they did, you would see women making much greater efforts to create relationships. They don't, and they don't take an active role in trying to find a mate. In the past, women needed men to survive, so a woman wanted a relationship because she didn't want to die. It was also culturally low-status to be unmarried. Take away those pressures, and women will passively wait for "Mr. Right", while never making a serious effort to find a man, and rejecting most men. That is what we see.
So are they waiting for Mr Right or they don't have strong desire to be in relationships? Passiveness doesn't have to mean lack of desire. Women go to bars waiting for some guy to start chatting with them. They use dating apps etc.
Both. If you're waiting for "Mr. Right", then you clearly don't want to be in a relationship that badly -- or you would settle for "Mr. Okay", and you wouldn't just wait -- you'd go looking. The point of "Mr. Right" is that he doesn't exist -- he is an unrealistic ideal. Yes, passiveness does mean a lack of desire. Yeah, women go to bars, wait for guys to approach them, and then reject those guys, and laugh about it later with their friends. Guys take the risk of rejection, and guys are willing to take that risk because their sexual desire is stronger. After having sex, the roles reverse. Men are less interested in commitment.
There has been a decline in relationship formation, because our emotions do not fit the environment that we have created. Over half of people 18 to 34 in the US are not in a relationship.
Rise of singleness is quite recent phenomena. And women get desperate when they get older to find partner. I think that them having more inflated position I sexual/matrymonial market is reason rather than lack of arranged marriages. Women don't need men for survival for quite some time and you see this trend rise from 2010s